It's taken me exactly forty days to finally write this little story down, but maybe today is just the day I was meant to share it with you.
Since it's Christmas, and we all love Christmas memories, perhaps this is simply the perfect space.
On my birthday back in November, I did a kind of crazy thing.
For my 45th birthday I challenged myself (again!) to a crazy “walking” day.
I walk pretty regularly, and on a good day can easily get in 15-20,000 steps, especially in the summertime.
In fact, on my 40th birthday I managed to hit a whopping 40,000 steps in one day (which felt a little crazy, but not totally bizarre at 40 years old.)
It may sound silly, but for someone who's kind of an introvert and not all that comfortable at a birthday party or really into fancy gifts, the gift to myself of walking entirely too many miles in one day was kind of the sweetest gift.
So this year, I decided that maybe if I started super early in the wee hours of the morning, I might just go for a whole-whopping-45k.
I walked with my sweet friend and neighbor first thing in the morning, then debated really going for it that day. While the idea sounded awesome, I really do have a good bit of work to do around here, and wasn't so sure it was worth wasting the time during our I-run-a-deal-blog-and-November-is-nuts-and-I-really-should-be-writing-deal-posts-today.
(I am lucky to have an amazing team who posts like 99% of the deals while I cheer them on, send out emails and do video. Of course they were here to take care of allllll the things like always. I didn't even tell them I'd be off ~ I just skipped out until later that night!)
When my twenty-year-old-son called though to wish me a happy birthday and I mentioned the idea to him, he said “MOM. You only turn 45 once. It'll be cool to walk the steps. N-o-b-o-d-y does that.”
“WALK THE STEPS MOM.”
So I did. 🙂
I walked 45,421 steps.
A whopping 23 miles.
All in one day.
(That's just 3 miles shy of a full marathon in case you're curious. I just needed you to know that.) 😉
Ridiculous.
I.
know.
Every chance I got throughout the day I hopped up, walked around the basement, walked around upstairs, and walked outside.
When one of my favorite friends called to wish me a happy birthday, I circled our family room exactly 972 times while we chatted on the phone.
In fact, whenever anyone called to wish me a happy day, I hopped up, walked, and walked . . . and walked.
My family took me out to dinner, then we walked around the mall. 🙂
When we got home I was right around 32K steps, but still had a whopping 10K left to go to hit 40K, way more if I wanted to make 45K to really mark the day.
So I headed out (it was FREEZING out . . . we're talking gloves, hat ear muffs and everything in my Ohio neighborhood), and I just.
kept.
walking.
While I walked that last stretch, it occurred to me (um, finally?), to think a wee bit back over these first 45 years.
As I looked back, I watched glimpses of sweet grace flash over each and every year of my life ~ almost (weirdly?) like a movie scene.
Just like you've felt I'm sure, many of those years included moments of sadness, seasons of anger, frustration, fear, doubt, anxiety, despair, and goodness, so. much. over. whelm.
But inside each and every one of those years, right smack in the middle of the dark shadows were people who shined the brightest light.
Looking back at those years ~ especially during the earlier years of my life . . . there were so many very dark days. Days when I truly questioned that light existed at all.
But in those very same days, every single year as I walked through them, someone stepped in in some big or small way, stood next to me, and shined a bright light to the year ahead.
Mrs. Siers who taught me to love Jesus.
Mr. & Mrs. Phipps who made me eat the veggies.
Ms. Saundra & Ms. Caroline who let me sit first chair every once in awhile in our tiny violin section at church. (It was and still is a pretty big church. It felt pretty fancy to me).
Mr. & Mrs. Neal who let me spend hours in my friend Shannon's bedroom chit-chatting all night.
Mr. & Mrs. Treadway who picked us up 39¢ hamburgers at McDonald's even after Mr. Treadway lost his job. (They told us we could have the 49¢ cheeseburgers, but even then I was frugal, and knew that extra 10¢ of cheese was worth skipping.)
Betty Jo who walked this two-hundred-and-twenty-pound girl up and down the streets of my hometown at least a few hundred miles.
Mrs. Stewart who taught me to type.
My mom who pushed me to learn to type too and instilled in me the crazy value of hard hard work.
My step-grandmother who gave me a violin.
My bonus mom who showed me how to be the most organized hostess (and make the best broccoli cheese casserole you've ever eaten).
My aunt Judy who picked me up from college 18 hours away from home to take me out for Fazoli's on Friday nights.
My mother-and-father-in-law and their family who welcomed me in with the widest of arms.
My dad who told me I should probably keep running a business even when I was sure it would never last.
My Reagan who taught me to navigate failure graciously.
My Sweet Caroline who's challenged me (bless!) and led me since the day she was born.
My firstborn big-ole-kid (um, who told me I might as well go ahead and walk the 45,000 steps.)
And of course, my husband who's been my biggest cheerleader since the very first minute we met.
The list goes on a bunch.
So
much.
I know your list is long too.
I could share the other details, the darker things, the things that make my story a little more “sell-able” in this very noisy world online.
But in truth? The stories of the lights along my way shine so much brighter than the dark hollow spaces. So I'm not even going to waste your time thinking on them here.
***And there is nothing different or unique or special about me. ***
I know if you look hard, you'll see the same bright lights in your own life too.
And … just in case you're curious, here's the rest of the story this last year?
Welp, I turned 45 years old. (WOOHOO!)
I have 3 cute kids. A husband who loves me so much more than I deserve.
And this last year, we took a pretty good-sized business, and grew it beyond my wildest dreams.
Over 100,000 families have been impacted by a few of the products we've made in the last two years here on PPP, which completely blows this girl-who-grew-up-amidst-some-serious-darkness-space.
Those products?
Those menu plans were made for a mom like my mom who struggled to make dinner each night.
I simply didn't want moms to struggle any more. I wanted an easy way.
Those home planner checklists were for crazy-busy moms like me, who were easily overwhelmed, struggled to stay focused, who sometimes didn't know where to begin each day, and who might feel discouraged juggling work and home life behind the scenes.
I just wanted moms like me to have easy checklists so they felt a wee bit more in control of their homes each day.
And the New Testament Journals? Those were just to encourage other women like me to stop, savor a little time with God in just a beautiful way.
However, had I never seen those darker days, my perspective would have been so very different.
The shadowed moments along the way gave me bright clarity in the darkness that only night could shine.
My direction would have never been the same had the peaks and valleys not lined the way.
I am so crazy thankful for each and every piece of this crazy-beautiful life.
I never dreamed it, never-ever-never could have imagined it.
Yet His grace continues each day to cover my life, just as I know He covers yours today too.
That light is there in your life today too.
The darkness you might be feel covered by right now? There might just be a beautiful lesson inside this very space.
If you're in a dark spot today . . . I encourage you ~ please, please…. look for a light today.
Reach out to a friend, start a new project to encourage you, or maybe just hop up and walk a few hundred steps today.
Whether you're in a dark sullen space today or a bright-shiny-light-season, know that each and every space has it's own perfect and scandalous grace.
Praying grace, peace, and more than anything that you will know your own true value and worth today and every day.
Cheering for you right now from this side of the screen ~ and praying the most beautiful 2021 for you and your family today too. Merry Christmas and the very happiest of new years ~ I'm so crazy thankful for you!
(Addendum: I did tell my kids that starting next year I'm walking backwards from now on – next year I'll do 44K, then 43K …. at 50 I can do 40K and at 90 I'll just be done. They informed me that I need to keep going until I'm 50 because . . . they expect me walking at least 1000 steps until I'm 100. I'll let you know how that one goes in 2021…. ) 🙂
cyndi reeves says
Congrats! quite an achievement – good for you! Your watch you showed in the picture (of your steps, etc.) is just what I’m looking for to keep track of my steps. Would you be kind enough to share with me the brand and where you purchased it? Thanks again and keep up the great work! cyndi reeves
Laurie says
Hi Cyndi! It’s an apple watch – hope that helps! 🙂
cyndi reeves says
Thank you, I will check it out. Thank you also for having such a great blog and helping others to save money. Happy New Year
Sherrie says
Thank you for your honesty. I really needed to soak that in my heart today. I’ll read it over and over!
Carol C says
Beautiful inspirational story. I enjoyed it. I agree with you, everyone has dark days but we don’t need to dwell on them. They actually help you grow once you past thru them. God Bless You. Have a Happy Healthy 2021 and keep up the great work.
Cheryl Fewell-Brown says
Beautiful! In this awful year of 2020 we paid off our house and Cherylhad a new granddaughter born. We are in the midst of the beginnings of a remodel of our kitchen. It will still be too small but it will be new with drawers that roll out instead of drag wood on wood since 1964! We will have recessed lights and pull outs on all bottom cabinets (we are prepping for aging in our home). 2019 ended with such a wonderful time as we all went to Disneyland and this year also ends with such hope for 2021 even though it has been a tough year in so many ways. God bless your family and our bigger family of PPP!
Eugenia Royer says
Thanks for your encouragement I needed to hear this today. Husband seems to always be discontented with me, no matter what I do. Just trying to be a light to my young adult girl’s and caring for my special needs son. Merry Christmas to you
Sally says
Merry Christmas Laurie!
What an awesome and encourage story. I had no idea you were ever the size you spoke of in this writing. But ~that~ encourages me more than anything. As a newly turned 57 y/o, menopause is whipping my tail :)! I am going to start moving more than I already do. You are given me a goal and inspired me! Not looking for 58 steps this next December 21st…but more than normal.
I recently bought your crockpot and freezer recipes and I look forward to using these to the fullest!
Blessing to you, your family and the entire PPP team in 2021 and beyond.
Diana Kelley says
Laurie, you and your team have been a blessing to me. I’m 74 years old but I still feel a connection to you young women. I was a mentor mom for an organization in my church and I loved those tired, but loving moms. You have been a blessing to me and I absolutely love my recipe cards!
Jessica Rasband says
Thank you!! Being a working mom it’s hard, I appreciate you taking time to share what you learn with us! It really does help… thank you!
Alice says
Love it! Best planner I have ever had…. and used!!!
Julie says
I just want to say thank you Laurie and the whole PPP team. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I’m so glad I found y’all and to have read this today as I needed to hear this. I’m divorced with it just my fur baby Ava Belle and I on this Christmas day. I’m so thankful for all of you. You’re my family and I love y’all. God Bless!
Kris Stanley says
❤️ this! Thanks for sharing your heart! Merry Christmas!
Vickie Mehl says
❤️ this!
Anna says
Timely and eloquently said. Thank you.
Brenda says
Thank you so much! So encouraging
Definitely needed to hear this this morning.
Connie M Benjamin says
You are a beautiful woman inside and out!
Lisa says
Beautiful and encouraging as always! Thank you!
Deb says
Thank you for sharing. Merry Christmas to you and your family!
Tina Jackson says
Thank you for being real, honest, and inspiring. I love how you live gratitude. I love how you share your past and current struggles and challenges to help others see that we can break our own down into manageable pieces to successfully address them. And it’s OK to use others and their approaches to help us, whether it’s addressing weight loss, house cleaning, meal management. I think this positive and community-based approach to life has never been more important than in 2020! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Merry Christmas and Happy 2021 to you and ALL the PPP family (including your legion of followers)!
Pat Downer says
You are so inspirational, thank you for all you do. Impressed with your 45 mile walk. My husband rode his bike 80 kilometers on his 80th birthday, so never give up !
Merry Christmas and the best of everything in the New Year. We got this!!!!
Mary says
Thank you for the encouragement, it was a word I needed to hear. May your family be blessed in 2021. Merry Christmas!
Jennifer says
Thank you so much for everything you do! You have made my life easier with the menu plans. Looking forward to starting the Bible journals.
Deborah Allen says
You always manage to encourage and lift us up. You are a blessing to us, along with your team. You’re honest and real. and that I think sets you apart. Yes, you’re running a business but you are so personable. Your love for what you do and your heart shine through. You always remember to give thanks and I think that’s another reason your business is flourishing. Keep shining your light bright because you are sometimes that light in the darkness for the rest of us, as we maneuver the crazy household chores and pinch our pennies. Thanks for being a blessing to me. Merry Christmas to you and your sweet family who obviously adore you too.
Laurie says
Hugs Deborah – goodness I am so crazy thankful for you and feel so incredibly fortunate each day! Praying the sweetest Christmas for you and your family – and the happiest of years in 2021. So many blessings!
Diane Mason says
And there it is, the humbleness and genuineness of you. Thank you for this. I needed to read this today. Hugs and blessings, my Friend, whom I’ve never met, but have spent alot of time with.☺
Leah says
Love you Laurie. So thankful for all the years we had together. All the lists of people who had an impact on you? You had just as much of an impact on them as well! You were beautiful then and you are beautiful now!
Laurie says
Hugs Leah… you know what a sweet gift your family has always been to me!! So so thankful for you!!!