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In the last five days I've been to my favorite beach on the planet.
Decided on a major business decision.
Um, and my dad passed away.
And … just to keep things interesting, my husband and I paid our house off completely too. (Keep reading. The house being paid off had absolutely nothing and absolutely everything to do with dad passing away too.)
Good. gravy.
It's been quite a week.
Last Friday, I got a phone call that I needed to come see my dad in the hospital ~ he wasn't doing well.
I'd been with him the weekend before (to give my stepmom a few hours off), as dad had been struggling with dementia for quite awhile.
(They've been married since I was four, and bless her sweet heart, the woman is a saint and an amazing gift to our family. And a wonderful grandma to my kids, beyond what I could ever ask for!)
While we were there last weekend he just was off, and I knew things didn't look good.
So I headed to Kentucky Friday where he'd been hospitalized, stayed the night with him there, and felt when I left the next morning his future looked bleak.
Mercifully, he passed away Sunday night.
I'm not gonna lie. (I truly don't believe he'd ever expect me to.) Our relationship has been okay these last few years, but he'd made some choices along the way that has made my life a wee bit more difficult at times.
And these last few weeks as I've watched him struggle, for whatever reason I've questioned my own value, and Whose I really am over and over each day.
I've questioned my own parenting decisions, our family's financial decisions, and my business decisions. But more than anything, I've struggled way way deep down questioning my own self-worth. (Something I'm pretty sure I've struggled with since the very day I was born. Anyone else?)
I've watched my parents make a lot of decisions over the years. Some good, some not-quite-as-good, and I've learned so very much from them.
But over and over this last week as I've struggled through 43-years-of-deep-seated-self-doubt, the words “be a beautiful reaction” have been right at the front of my mind.
(A friend of mine took me to hear Bob Goff a few months ago where he talked about being a beautiful reaction to whatever life hands to us each day. I've posted it on my computer. Said it out loud to my husband. And muttered it to myself over and over recently in times of uncertainty.)
Fast forward 4 days.
Because the services aren't until early next week, my girls and I snuck away to the beach yesterday since we'd already had the trip planned.
Today we put our toes in the sand.
Jumped a few waves.
Got more sun that a few cute blonde girls could ever possibly need.
And had just the most lovely day.
But it gets better (keep reading!)
My husband called me tonight and was almost giddy with excitement.
He paid off our house today.
WE PAID OFF OUR HOUSE TODAY.
OUR WHOLE HOUSE.
The garage.
The basement.
Allllll the things.
They're all paid for.
We've been working towards this crazy-obnoxious-goal for the last few years, but over the last few months we kind of just got crazy.
And when dad passed away just a few days ago, I was reminded that I wanted to live this life knowing full well we were completely financially cared for.
So my sweet husband wrote the check today, giving us true financial peace that is beyond just crazy to me.
Now I'm not going to lie about this one either.
That financial peace has come at a steep cost.
For the last ten years I haven't gone on vacation once without my laptop.
While other folks sleep in, I'm up almost every morning at 4:45AM so I can get started for the day and still (somewhat!) manage my family and home.
I haven't had a day off 100% fully from work except Christmas Day since September of 2009.
(That being said, I have an AMAZING TEAM and I'm now sometimes able to only work for a few hours while they handle so much of the rest. I am so crazy thankful for each of them and could never-ever-never do this on my own!)
My kids don't know though that other families discuss things besides business strategies, coming up with Facebook growth plans, and email marketing ideas around the dinner table at night. (Bless them, they tell me other stuff in their lives, but business talk always takes over the table. EEK!)
I wake up at least 3 mornings a-week-almost-every-week and do Facebook Live videos for a few thousand folks that are willing to watch.
(YOU GUYS. I HATE FACEBOOK LIVE AND I HATE VIDEO IN GENERAL WITH EVERY SINGLE OUNCE OF MYSELF. IT IS CRAZY PAINFUL FOR ME. But I know it works and is the only way I know to get “seen” in an awfully noisy world. So I do it despite the huge level of frustration I feel against it every day!)
And I watch other moms be normal moms, attend Bible Study, volunteer, and grab coffee or get their toenails done just for fun. I sometimes watch with a tinge of jealously, wondering what that must be like. But (at least most of the time?), I feel so strongly that what we do here on PPP might add true value for the million-or-so-folks who choose to stop by, that I keep right on typing.
Whew.
I've chosen instead of coffee and long vacations and sleeping in, that at least for this season, my beautiful reaction to my parents good and sometimes not-good-at-all choices, I will figure this whole business thing out.
And today was oodles of proof that sometimes the hustle truly works.
I think my dad would have been plenty proud. (He'd always been super proud of me, and for that I'm forever thankful!)
I don't know much about what kind of past you've had either.
I don't know what kind of regrets you've seen.
And I don't know if you've ever been given something to deal with that just felt so much bigger than something you could ever tackle yourself.
But I do know this.
Today.
This day.
You and I get to choose to be a beautiful reaction to whatever life throws our way.
Although my heart has hurt more times than I ever would choose, I'm incredibly thankful that even in that hurt God has orchestrated so many unique opportunities for me to beautifully react each day.
And I have full faith that if He cares enough to do that with this mess-of-a-momma,
He absolutely cares enough for you to do the exact same thing too.
Don't give up on your crazy dreams.
Don't ever think once that something's way too big for you.
Know instead that if you're really willing to make a few sacrifices along the way, those small daily sacrifices might just add up to a whole heaping pile of success, turning your biggest dreams into reality too.
Whatever comes your way today,
be a beautiful reaction as you head along your way.
Looking for more posts like this? Here you go . . .
- The Best Mother's Day Gift that Didn't Cost a Penny
- The Smartest Financial Decision We (Accidentally) Made
- The Ugly Green Eyed Monster (and why I'll never measure up)
- Bag Lady
- Grace
- Blessed (And I didn’t even know it)
- Charm is Deceptive and Beauty is Fleeting
- The Value of A Kind Word
- Praying With Your Children
- Praying With Your Children (the Addendum)
- If Only….
- Are You A Real Mom?
- Giving Passionately?
- Do Our Children Need It All?
- If Only….
- Contentment In the Little Things
- Don’t Sacrifice What You Really Want For What You Want Right Now
- What Really Impresses Me
- Pinching In a Sacred Meal
Hi Laurie, I stumbled upon this post and it is so timely now with so many difficult things we are all going through that I can try to be and have a beautiful reaction to whatever hardships I or my family and friends have to conquer. I wish I had found you sooner. I am waiting for my first planner and am loving cleaning with you each morning. I so wish a had a real life friend like you but for now , just know what a positive influence you are for so many. Beautiful reaction might even be my “word” for 2021.
Hugs Carol – I love that!
Laurie, You are such an encouragement to me I’m so many ways! I’m so excited for you guys getting the house paid off! So wise. That is our goal too. We were just able to refinance our home at a super low interest rate for a shorter amount of time. I’m so thankful and it also made me take another look at our finances and set some goals. It feels so good and more freeing.
Thank you for roughing it through the videos you make. They inspire me and encourage me so much.
I’m sorry about your father. Thanks for sharing the not so good stuff too. I can relate. I am going to try and be a beautiful reaction as well!
Meredith
Hugs Meredith – thank you for your kind words today (they mean so much to me!) Hugs!!!
Dear Passionate Penny,♥️
I learned in my spirit today why God had me push the follow button after seeing your posts. I work with a ministry called Xcellence inc Dr. Angella Banks, Midwife to your Dreams. I am also the Public Relations Director for IJASCODE hands free Global marketing system. Ijascode means “I have A Great Messsge”-of which you certainly have one‼ I have not followed you thatlong & do not know yet where you are out of. I am in California and keep busy. Prayed this morning God would connect us to talk. Continued blessings in abundance for your family. Rev. Linda Housden
818 281-3292
Congrats on paying off the house and for just doing what you do! I know I appreciate you and your team. I also like your lives so I hope you continue! I couldn’t do what you do. Keep it up!
Congratulations on paying off your mortgage! What a wonderful accomplishment of many years of saving and saying No to many things. I have followed your site (as well as Dave Ramsey’s plan) and just like you have lived way below our means to pay off debt, the house and then to be Generous Givers! Your posts daily inspire and I am so thankful for the time you save me in saving Money, time, and encouragement. I love your Words to encourage you through hard times. Mine have been Choose Joy! Thanks for all you do. I am sorry for your loss.
This is lovely. Your posts encourage me and make me laugh daily. I am a great fan of a hard working woman who is not afraid to display her faith or her foibles. HE remembers that we are dust, and yet still chose us from the foundations of earth to be His. You’ve got this, girl. Press on.
beautiful. inspirational! (especially loved the link to ‘whose I am’ which I hadn’t seen before). I’ve followed ya from way back in the day when I stumbled upon your site searching for who knows what– keep up the real-ness– you are a light to so many 😉
forgot to add- many prayers for your family in your loss.
Thanks so much for your kind words, and for your prayers Jen! Hugs!
Thank you for this post. I got on your site to find a video, any video, of you talking. Your uplifting attitude makes me happy! So I “accidentally” found this post. There are no accidents! I believe a loving God knew just what I needed to read today, thank you being that for me.
You are too sweet Leda ~ thanks so much for your kind words, and encouragement! Hope you have a blessed day ~ hugs!
Oh Leda – hugs! Thank you for your sweet encouragement to me today… your sweet comment blessed me more than you could ever know. Have a beautiful day!
Thanks for this Laurie. You are an inspiration to me each day.
Thank you for this! I am sorry for your loss.
Thank you for this! I can totally relate to your post – I lost my dad this year and I also live in KY. I however, haven’t paid my mortgage off yet! lol
Oh my. So many of us. I have had a terrible relationship with my mother and thanks to dementia she is easy to be around. I know that sounds terrible, but being raised in a fundamentalist household (where my parents hated each other), led my mom to tell me I was going to hell when I converted to Catholicism at age 33. Now she goes to mass at her assisted living and has been reading the literature handed out. Haha. I don’t remind her because she has said that “church is church” and she doesn’t enjoy her own Pentecostal church anymore and I am glad she has found peace. My relationship with my dad was okay but I was in a very busy season of life when he passed away in 2003 pretty unexpectedly.
Here is something I heard on The Next Right Thing podcast. It brings me great comfort. “I know one thing for sure and it is this. I know I am one in home Christ dwells and delights. I live in the strong and unshakable Kingdom of God. The Kingdom is not in trouble and neither am I”. God bless and congratulations!
Beautifully said and a much need reminder with all that is happening in this crazy world today!
Thanks, I am a grandfather of five and a husband of 35 years and love your post.
Both my parents died when I was young and I had to make a lot of crazy choices over the years
All I know is God is sovereign and he will always be by your side no matter the situation.
Keep your eye on the prize that he has promised and always look forward to a time that we will
see our love ones with no more sickness or tears.
Thanks for sharing your heart!
Thank you. So sorry about your Dad. So happy about your home. Think I could have written this same story re my life….
I love watching your live videos and really appreciate this post. You should create a picture, wood block or magnet to sell in your shop with this saying. It is so appropriate and something we should be mindful of every day — it couldn’t hurt to have lovely reminder.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your father. It is inspiring to me that you shared the honest and real thoughts and events of your personal life, both the sad and happy ones. It is rare to see this these days.
In a world where so many choose to only put on a comfortable show of the picture perfect life, this elevates you to a place of integrity and honesty that is priceless. I have so much respect for you in presenting this posting.
Thank you so much for all the wonderful things you do for your readers/followers. I look forward to your insights and ideas and use your information to be a better mother, provider and personal manager for my family. You are making a beautiful difference for others! God bless you and your family.
I love your honesty. I’m so sorry about your dad. But I’m so excited for your family to have met such an amazing financial goal by paying off your house! I must admit that I’m feeling down, frustrated, etc by our financial situation and your post really brought me some “truth”. I’m going to keep hunkering down and stop whining about it. Because I DO want to be in a better place financially so that my family can feel some relief (most of our issues stem from numerous medical issues – triplet pregnancy, breast cancer, ulcerative colitis and then two major surgeries). I’m working hard to get our debt paid off but I am reminded that I could certainly work harder and whine less.
Thanks again for your post and CONGRATULATIONS to your family!!!
This post is lovely – refreshing in its honesty and vulnerability. I’m sorry about your dad. On the complete other side of the spectrum, congrats on paying off your mortgage! That’s w huge accomplishment and an empowering affirmation of how you’ve chosen to live your life!
I am sorry for your loss of your father. Yesterday we lost my father in law, he had dementia too. As believers we have the hope of seeing him again. Thank you for all you do for our family. I have saved so much money because of you and your team over the years. I am so happy for you paying off your house, it is so freeing! Congratulations!
Laurie, I’m so very sorry for your loss. I also really appreciate your honest post. It’s only when we open up to others that we all grow. I will be using “be a beautiful reaction.” What a great mantra! I heard another saying recently, “you do you.” The context of the article was that we always second guess ourselves, and we often know better than others what we need, but we are afraid of what others will think. I think you are amazing, and I hope you continue to do you. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family through this difficult time. And I hope you take some time to celebrate your amazing accomplishment.
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Your post was beautiful and inspiring. I live in KY too (Georgetown). Many prayers for your family!
Laurie, Thank you for that sweet post. I will put up a note to remind me to be a beautiful reaction also. Congrats on the house and so very sorry for your loss. You will never know what an inspiration you have been in my life. Sending it’s of love your way!
Thank you for sharing. I am sad for your loss…but your attitude of gratitude is amazing and encouraging. It’s just what I needed to hear today.
As a mom of an addict raising my grandson in a time my husband and i should be enjoying the “empty nest” this encouragement is so appreciated. We love this kiddo with every ounce of being and love that we are capable of taking care of him. Its not the season we thought we would be in now but with God’s help we will try every day to be a blessing to him as he is to us. Thank you for your honesty and encouragement.
I think raw words shared have the most impact and God gets the most glory :). Congratulations on meeting your home mortgage goal! That is amazing! I am so very sorry about your dad. Prayers for you now.
Laurie
I love your tender truthful heart. I am sad for you losing your Dad and will be praying for you. So hard to endure. Thank you for being honest. My favorite part about your business is your heart. Please keep sharing with us all. You cheer us on and believe me when I say we are cheering you on too.
My husband and I have this as one of our big goals too. We keep a monthly tracker on the wall in our office to encourage us to keep working.
Laurie,
Wow what an emotional blender you’re in! Congratulations on the house- it’s so encouraging to know progress is possible! Lots of love to you! I’m so thankful for who you are!
Thank you so much for writing this post, it encouraged me greatly this morning. We have battled chronic illness in our family with both myself and 3 out of our 6 kids. We homeschool and I run a business from home too. I can completely relate to your feeling of just wanting to be like a “normal” mom. Thank you for the encouraging words that my sacrifice is worth it and someday we will reap a harvest. Bless you!
So inspiring! Beautiful❤
Beautiful! As I begin a new school year I love the idea of having that quote posted where I can see it at all times. We lost my grandmother this past May (she was 103!!) and my father passed 5 year ago… in my father’s passing I learned that nothing is certain and that we need to live every day with a grateful heart and knowing that it could be the last. Since he passed I went back to school, finished my masters (as of this last Thursday) and got married back in May – just in time to tell my grandmother not to worry about my Momma, that my husband & I would be there to take care of her. That it was ok if she wanted to go be with my abuelito.
Congratulations on owning your own home! What an achievement! Now go spend extra time with your family! 🙂
Ps. I highly recommend Bob Goff’s book “Everybody. Always.” as well!
You are awesome and a blessing. Thanks for❤ all you do. Congratulations on paying off your house. Remember you are a daughter of a King, (jesus). You are beautiful inside and out and it shows in your writing and your Facebook lives. ❤
Thank you so much for sharing. I needed this today! You are a blessing to many of us. Prayers for your comfort in your loss.
I love this post and your honesty. Sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your faith – we all need it. God bless you!
Love this post Laurie. Thank you for sharing your heart. So sorry for your loss but with dementia it can be a blessing.
Thanks for the encouragement Laurie. So very sorry for the loss of your dad.
Great story, sorry for your loss. Thanks for all you do.
My mother passed away in December with dementia so I REALLY am sorry for your father and his passing.
Please don’t remove this post as there are people who need to read it! Financial freedom is so much greater than visits to nail salons or coffee shops!
Thank you for sharing what is in your heart!
Thank you for the beautiful post. So sorry for your loss. And congrats on paying off the house. I am finally debt free, with no mortgage or other debt, and it is so empowering. It changes the way you look at spending—it is not just about paying bills but about enjoying life (and saving money)!
Oh Laurie, I am so sorry for your loss. May the God of all comfort carry you through.
Thank you for your words of wisdom.
Laurie, so sorry to hear of your dad’s passing. Thank you for sharing this!! I adore watching you on Facebook live 3 days a week and honestly look forward to seeing you and being motivated by you. I love your stitche fit boxes and your crock pot meals and if course following your daily chores list. You motivai me. You’re so real and teachable as much as you teach us. You’re humble and so likeable. Thank you for sharing with us what’s in your heart!!! Congratulations on paying off your home!! That is such a financial relief!!! Please keep sharing your Facebook lives with us!!
❤❤❤ Thank you for putting your heart out there. You are a true blessing! I can resonate with so much of that. Thank you for the encouragement also!
I love watching you and reading your inspirational writings!! You truly inspire me on a daily! Especially when you are cleaning your house on fb live!! Thank you for letting us into you and your families life. Please continue just being you…cause you ARE enough!
Congratulations on paying off your home!! Wooohoooo!!!
I am sorry for your loss. I pray you are coping ok.
Take care
Oh my! I’m sitting here just a crying mess now. My heart breaks for your loss but I’m sooo jumping for joy for you! Paying off your house is nothing but amazing at your age. Here I am, owing more on my house than we bought it for 12 years ago due to my husband working contract IT work (with sometimes 7 months between jobs) and being a stay at home mom. I often wonder when it will change for us, when, or if, it might get just a bit easier. I know God has something special planned for the six of us, and I pray daily for guidance. You are amazing, and I’ve started reading the Bible again because of you and your amazing checklists. And for that, I am truly blessed. Now go celebrate!!!! ❤️
You are an inspiration to all, sorry to hear about your father, I lost mine to Alzheimer’s about 2 yrs ago, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about him, but he is in a much better place! God bless you & your family & “be a beautiful reaction” !
Laurie, my heart goes out to you tonight ♥️
My Dad certainly made some choices that made my life less-than-easy, but when he passed away when I was 25, closely followed by the rest of his family, I suddenly experienced a financial freedom that came with a heavy price. I completely understand what you wrote about questioning your parenting, financial decisions, and all other kinds of worthiness. It made me feel like I was suddenly different from everyone I had been friends with for years. In the last two years I have looked at all kinds of thoughts and beliefs I have about myself and checked them for truth. I’ve been able to see that not everything I think is true and I have been able to find so much peace through this process. I even coach it now! Sometimes it’s just enough to connect with someone that understands… it helps us see that we aren’t alone or weird or losing it. Thank you for sharing your story if we all could be so brave we could feel so much more connected. I’m sending love and healing light to you and your family.
Laurie your words so honest and thoughtful. Three years ago I found your PPP site on fb. Have watched you everyday since then. The money you have saved me gave me many things I wanted but could not afford. Thank you! I admire your hard work and the loving mother and wife you are. No one is perfect but your sweet smile, compassion is genuine. Bless you and James for all your accomplishments you should be proud I am for you. Your team is amazing thank all of you for your dedication and hard work. I will continue each day to see u live on fb making my day a bit brighter.
Hugs Marlene
Laurie, thank you for sharing! You are such a strong person and so inspirational! You have been through a lot and I’m glad that you and your husband have been able to pay off your mortgage. It’s such a great feeling and one you should be proud of because it is a lot of work to get to that point. I know when we paid ours off, we were both so happy or should I said relieved. I love your videos and look forward to each and everyone of them. Glad that you were able to take a little time to unwind and enjoy the beach.
Thank you for your words of wisdom and encouragement. And although you dislike doing the Fb live please know you have been a blessing to so many wives and moms! ❤️
Thanks for sharing such a beautiful story. I’m glad you were able to find some light in the sad time of your father passing. And congratulations on the house payoff! Such a big accomplishment!
Good stuff, and your heart is in the right place. You deserve time away. Maybe as adults, moms we push the hurt aside In order to move along with life. Sometimes those things catch up in a better way, and sometimes they are what they are. I would love to get our house paid off.
Thank you Mel for your kind words! And you never know – we would NEVER ever have thought we could be here but here we are (you just never know what you can do when you dream really big!)
Tomorrow, when I get in my classroom, I will write this on my board, not only to inspire myself but hopefully, my students as well.
I love that Peggy! Hugs!
Thank you for sharing Laurie!! You are such an inspiration and I absolutely love your videos Prayers for you and your family during this time.
Thank you Lee – that means more to me than you know!
Well done! You should be proud. It takes a lot to do what you do. It is thru sharing our struggles and our wins that others can dream big also. You dreamt it and achieved it. Because you did I know I can too. We don’t get to our dreams without a little blood, sweat and tears.
Thank you so much Angela for your kind words – YES, it is so worth always dreaming big!
Thank you for this! I have not had a great relationship with my parents either, especially my mom. It has taken a LONG time to come to grips with that. Congratulations on seeing the fruits of your labor, and all the sacrifices your family has made, come to fruition! I am very happy for you!
Hugs Susan! Goodness, I know all too well where you’re at, but also love how it gives us an opportunity to look at life a wee bit differently (something not everyone can do!) Thank you for sharing your heart today too!
Love, love, love your encouragement! Thanks for baring your heart with all of us, as we learn to be “beautiful reactions” in our sphere of influence.❤️
Thank you for your kind words Wende and encouragement – hugs!
beautiful
Thank you Karen for your sweet encouragement! Hugs!