The ugly green eyed monster – and why I’ll never measure up.

Update: Read my sweet husband's response to this post over HERE. I AM SO BLESSED.

Just last week I was thumbing through Facebook and felt a wee bit more than a twinge of the green-eyed-monster of jealousy rising up inside of me.

 

Okay, okay, I wasn't thumbing through Facebook really, but it sounds a little more glamorous than scrolling down Facebook like I do every single day ~ don't ya' think? 

 

I was jealous of another blogger's downright gorgeous home. 

 

It was perfect.

 

Amazingly decorated.

 

Seriously, folks, it could have been in a magazine. 

 

I scrolled on down a little further and saw an acquaintance I hardly know, skinny-as-a-rail and just jaw-droppingly beautiful with her oh-so-cute and just about perfect husband sharing their anniversary.

 

They looked so happy.

 

Obviously they had it all together.

 

And I'm betting she hasn't counted a calorie in her entire. life. 

 

Yup. I hate her.

 

truth. sorry. ahem.

 

Ridiculously, I kept on scrolling.

 

Why look at that. There's another friend sharing their child's most amazing accomplishment.

 

And oodles of other mommas cheering them on, because really, their child is phenomenal. clearly.

 

All while my little family just kind of sits around looking plain and ordinary.

 

Then I bounced off Facebook to really get to work and started looking at a few other blogs. 

 

You know, the ones who are all doing it right.

 

The ones who have perfect web sites, perfect content, perfect pictures  . . . and a jillion comments on every. single. post.

 

they really are oh so put together. I'm so not cut out for this.

 

 

Oh-so-often I feel like I just never measure up.

 

I allow myself to be jealous of another blogger's home.

 

I let myself get jealous of a skinny perfect person that I hardly even know.

I compare my kids to other people's kids. (For the record, I have some pretty cute kids even if they are just ordinary. Jeesh.) 

 

And when it comes to blogging? Well, it's just a stroke of luck that this little website stays on every day. Seriously.

 

So I started really thinking about it. Who really looks like the person I want to be?

 

 

Initially, I thought if I could just be more like her, I would totally be there.

 

But then I realized, while she has a beautiful family, amazing business, and, well, keeping it real here folks, she's skinny, 🙂 she's not all that in to fluffing her home. (Which is totally fine, but I kinda like a fluffed up home.)

 

So I moved on.

 

Then I thought well maybe if I could just be like this. Amazing home, perfectly-yet-kind-of-quirkily decorated, and of course skinny – but, well, I'm betting she doesn't really enjoy clipping coupons. (I could be wrong – that's just a hunch?)

 

Then I thought of another friend who I adore who runs an amazing business, has a beautiful home, and a precious family . . . but struggles some with other issues too.

 

I moved on. This one.  This is it. Perfect home, crazy huge business, gajillion followers on Facebook, Instagram, well, everywhere. Even a perfect husband.

 

and she can cook.

 

But really? As I thought it through, she's not quite my “measure-up-to goal” either.

 

Honestly?

 

I want the body of Barbie (a little less curvy though, please), the business of Martha Stewart, the mommy-amazing-sweetness of June Clever, and a home smack on the cover of Southern Living.

 

Oh, and can I cook like Paula Deen? (right, but with Barbie's figure, got that? hmph.)

 

Ahem.

 

The truth? My twisted standard of measurement is some kind of not-really-perfect-at-all-but-I-think-it-might-be-perfect.

 

And I'm just me.

 

Way down here.

 

I'll never measure up.

 

Years ago, I read an illustration in Max Lucado's book In The Grip of Grace (such a wonderful book, by the way . . .) describing what my heart struggles in a way with each day . . .

 

 

“Suppose God reduced the Bible to one command: “Thou must jump so high in the air that you touch the moon.” No need to love your neighbor or pray or follow Jesus; just touch the moon by virtue of a jump, and you’ll be saved.

We’d never make it. There may be a few who jump three or four feet, even fewer who jump five or six; but compared to the distance we have to go, no one gets very far. Though you may jump six inches higher than I do, it’s scarcely reason to boast.”

 

 

My goal is set too high.

 

The standard I've set for myself is perfection.

 

Only grace can fill in.

 

God's grace is okay with me the way I am.

 

It's okay with a slightly pudgy-hippy girl.

 

It's okay with my Facebook reach.

 

It's okay with my kids.

 

It's okay with the number of people who visit PPP daily.

 

It's okay with the way I handle being a Godly wife to my poor husband.

 

Bless.

 

him. 🙂 

 

His grace is sufficient for me. 

 

Just as I am.

 

Ladies (sorry gents, I know y'all hopped off eons ago . . . ), you too are good enough. 

 

You are beautiful enough.

 

You are wise enough.

 

You are capable enough.

 

You.

 

Yes,

 

you.

 

You are enough.

 

Don't let your picture of perfection be anything other than the one God created you to be.

 

I promise. I'll stop too.

 

And you're so not the only one who feels this way.

 

But his grace (thank. heavens.) covers us today.

 

promise.

 

 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9