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I woke up this morning to a whole lotta praying.
I'd had a bad dream, woke to my more-often-than-I'd-choose-3AM-oh-my-word-who-can-I-worry-about-right-this-second internal alarm, and decided to start praying.
(I don't know about you, but as a mom of kids aged 14-21, I have entirely too many early morning worry sessions these days.)
Normally I push past them and drift back off to sleep (5:15AM is my normal wake up time), but today there was just no pushing past.
I laid there for about 30 minutes and worried over this one kid of mine. (With three kids, I always have one to worry over. Sometimes I think they've played tag since birth, making sure I worry equally over each of them an adequate amount of time).
I worried. Then prayed. Then worried again.
God and I are used to this.
He gets me.
As I continued to worry, I kind of saw this picture in my head though, and maybe you can see it too.
(I wish I was an artist and could draw you a picture-reel of what I imagined. But I'll have to use my words because that's all I've got. I'm crossing my fingers you can follow along).
I imagined walking along an ever-so-slightly-winding kind of sidewalk on a pretty much deserted sandy path. (Kind of like the Footprints poem but not quite that sandy. Mine was more like a sidewalk with a dashed-center-line, but just a little sandy too . . . in case you're curious.)
As I walked, down the path, someone came along near me every once in awhile, gently lifted me up, and scooted me a tiny bit farther down the road.
I'd walk a little further, then sure enough, get scooted down the trail a wee bit more.
The road of course was the timeline of my big-ole-long-life, here at a whopping forty-five years old.
Looking back, there were yucky parts that I had to survive to get to the happier parts.
There were parts that were a little more scary which I never would have chosen, but they made way for sweeter spaces down the road.
You know what's real weird though?
Just after that, I noticed my husband's slightly-winding-kind-of-sidewalk, and how God orchestrated his path, to kind of cross my path.
If he hadn't walked a little more this way, I wouldn't have turned out a little more that way.
(Does that even make sense? At all? GOSH I WISH I COULD SHOW YOU THE MOVIE REEL IN MY HEAD!)
It got me thinking though, that God is in the work right now of doing the very same thing for each one of my three kids.
And He does the same for each of us.
He has a path that I don't even understand. He often has a path that I don't agree with or like one single bit at all.
But just as He's carried me to exactly where I need to be, He carries them, and He carries you and your kids too.
“You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.” Psalm 139 :5
“For you created me in my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb”. Psalm 139: 13
“My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.” Psalm 139:15
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:24
He hemmed both you and me, and each of our children right in. (Psalm 139:5)
He knit us together perfectly. (Psalm 139:13)
He has seen us from the very beginning. (Psalm 139:15)
He knows my anxious thoughts.
He sees my offenses.
Yet He chooses to lead me eternally. (Psalm 139:24).
I don't know what season of worry you're in.
Maybe you're like me and you wake up way too early some days worrying over alllll the things because you're pretty sure that's your job.
Maybe you have kids that worry you. Or finances that worry you. Or work that worries you. Or an illness that worries you.
(Ugh. The illness one is so so hard. I wish I could take that one away if you that's where you're at today. My heart is with you and praying for you!)
But whatever the worry is . . . He knit us right in.
He hemmed behind us and goes before us.
He knows our worries. Each of them.
Yet He still leads us eternally.
Settle in with me, okay?
Soak up simple peace, knowing that He's walked alongside you, scooting you also along a winding-walking-path.
He's walking along with our kids too.
He's walking alongside other people that we don't know yet, navigating them down the road.
He lifts us through hard times (I have to believe?) to shield us from what might be even harder things.
And I know. I don't get the really-really-hard-things-either. I simply don't. There are things that are entirely too hard that I simply don't understand. AND OFTEN THEY JUST MAKE ME SO MAD. I wish He would fix them. BUT I HAVE TO TRUST that He carries us in those darker days for something necessary just ahead. Because honestly? Otherwise I'm not quite sure I could walk any further.
Praying for you and me both right now, that we rest a little more often knowing His perfect peace.
That we feel completely shielded and protected today in His arms.
That we know He's knitting and forming our kids, and our families too.
And goodness, forever thankful as He leads us each, every day.
Praying for you today ~ that you may know the peace and comfort and stop-waking-up-at-3AM-worrying from a God who created us oh-so-generously today.
Hugs sweet friend,
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