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How To Be Happy (Even on Really Hard Days)
I posted this a few years ago after we had just moved, when it was just so so hard to figure out how to be happy during some difficult days. In NO WAY AT ALL do I think it's really all that easy to turn on a “how-to-be-happy-switch”. But, I HAVE found that at least for me there are things that I can do each day to feel a little happier even on really hard days.Â
Today I came across the post again, and realized it was EXACTLY the same advice I needed to tell myself today, as we're going through this season of “social distancing” again. (It's March of 2020 now January of 2022 and we're still watching the world kind of play out during the current pandemic.) While I'm honestly thankful for this slow-downed time at home, THIS IS STILL SO HARD. (And definitely makes it difficult to just feel happy some days!)
Maybe you're feeling the same. Pull up a chair and a cup of coffee – and know you simply are not alone today.
How I Learned To Soak Up Happy
A few years ago, we moved to a new home, new city, and goodness, it was so so hard.
Truth?Â
It just wasn't easy on our family, and it certainly wasn't easy on me.
Thankfully though, things eventually eased up a bit, and we've slowly found our place at least for this season.
In the midst of that season though, there were some practical skills I learned that helped me at least feel how to be happy (and even find joy!) on really hard days.
The reality is, we all struggle through difficult things in life ~ whether it be a move, an illness, parenting struggles, the death of someone we love dearly.Â
(Or, in our current situation during a global pandemic and a little too much social distancing. WHEW.)
Life is hard.
There's just no way around it.
But, choosing to do a few certain things have helped ease my stress a little here, and maybe they'll be helpful for you.
And hopefully with a little patience, these simple strategies will help you focus on how to be happy today.
How To Be Happy (or at least feel a little happier today)
1. Exercise (even if only for a few minutes), pray, get dressed and shine your sink, every single day.Â
I don't know where the magic is in these tricks, but they really do work.
Promise. 😉
You've probably heard it before I'm sure, but if you're struggling with feeling overwhelmed, exercise will naturally help your body boost its endorphins. (And naturally brighten your mood.)
And, there's simply something grounding about sharing your worries with Someone bigger than you during seasons of doubt. Take a few minutes, list the things you're worried over, and find some peace today.
As for getting dressed and shining the sink ~ I will never ever understand why these help, but I can promise they absolutely do. Decide today to tackle those things each day, and see if they help you feel a little happier each day.Â
Don't give yourself a choice. Do these things every day. (Every. single. day.)
They'll help.
Really.
- Exercise
- Pray
- Get Dressed
- Shine Your Sink
Make these your non-negotiable things to do. Every. Single. Day.Â
2. Facetime, call, or text a friend.
If you're struggling, and feeling isolated and away from folks you love, a simple call or text message can completely brighten your mood. Make a quick phone call while folding laundry, Facetime a friend, or send a quick text letting someone know you're thinking of them.Â
I can't tell you how much fun I've had skypeing a friend video of our home (she's even gave me decorating tips while I walked through the house), and just a simple one-sentence text to another friend has really brightened my day. It's amazing what simply connecting with real people who care for you can do to lift your spirits, and it doesn't cost a thing!
3. Â If you need to, do some tidying.
I know it can be overwhelming in times of crisis and change to keep up with your home, but it can give you so much peace each day.
When I've felt before like I'm almost about to lose it, simply choosing to take care of a few things at home have helped so very much. Right after we moved when life felt unbearable, my husband came home and saw me in one mess of an office, and knew something had to be done.
I kept telling him that since we didn't have anywhere for most of the items to go until we had bookshelves, there was no point in tidying so I just needed to live with it. (It was months before we could get those bookshelves, but clearly spending hours each day in an office which was a disaster was not a great plan!)
UPDATE – our new office finally got finished ~ take a peek of the pretty amazing transformation over HERE
He enlisted the help of our kids, and in less than 30 minutes the entire room was cleared out to storage in the basement. I had no idea how much the clutter was bothering me, but goodness just having a tidy (albeit empty!) spot to work in has drastically reduced my stress level. Â
If you've got some clutter in your life that's making a difficult situation even more stressful, determine to take a few hours this weekend to just clean something out.
(I promise, you'll be so glad you did!)
4. Watch social media less if you need to.
Goodness, I love Facebook for keeping up with friends as much as anyone does, but if you're struggling with how to be happy, watch Facebook or Instagram less if you need to.
I've realized that watching what my friends are doing and feeling like our family was missing out was not helping anything. More importantly, I realized it was making a challenging situation even more difficult for my kids if they happened to scroll through and see what their friends were up to while we weren't there.
(And specially during the current global crisis and social distancing, if you spend hours each day online you may only feel more anxious. Get up, walk away from the computer, and find something in your space to make beautiful today!)
Instead of living the life you've been given, Facebook (or Instagram, or Twitter, or whatever it is for you), can make you wish for something you might not have right now. If you're going through something difficult (especially with a friend), limiting your time on social media and just really just living might just change your perspective.
My son took these pictures in our backyard the other night ~ amazing!
Look for beauty right where you are
5. Find the beauty in your current situation.
When you're struggling to find happiness, it's easy to miss the beauty going on in your current situation, wherever you are. It's so easy to wish for something different, rather than soaking in the gift that you have today.
Before we moved, never (ever) in a million years would we have snapped a picture like the one above in our backyard, and it truly is beautiful here. We used to walk to the grocery (which I miss ~ so much!), but now we can walk to the river. We used to have a back yard full of landscaping, now we have a yard abuzz with thousands of fireflies each night and watch deer from our kitchen window at just about every meal.
If you're going through something that feels so overwhelming and just hurts so badly, try to find something oh-so-beautiful even in your situation right now. It might be a special snuggle with a child who's struggling through a difficult season of their life, or maybe a walk outside to see some flowers in bloom.
No matter what your situation, there is something beautiful to be found right where you are. Take a second to find it and just drink it in and soak in the joy where you are today. If you're struggling through this whole-crazu-social-distancing thing, soak up the extra time with your family, the slower pace of your days, and extra home-cooked meals throughout the week. Rather than fighting it, soak it all up and be thankful ~ there is beauty right here today!Â
How To Be Happy When You're Tired
6. Realize you can't do it all right now.
If you're reading this in March 2020 and the current pandemic state of our world has you overwhelmed right now, you know all too well that you simply cannot do it all today.
You probably can't go to your regular restaurants. Or shop at your regular stores. Or meet up with friends of even go to work like you usually do.
It is all different right now.Â
Clearly, we can't do it all right now.
But prioritizing what you can do can help so much. During this season, know that you can't do everything right now, and only focus on your true top priorities.
Right now with my kids all home and oodles of meals to cook, the only things I can really tackle are taking care of our family, and keeping up (somewhat!) here on PPP. I've been convicted that I so often put my business ahead of my family, and right now they truly need to be first.
School will be here before you know it (although it sure doesn't feel like it right now!), and I'll never get back today with my family again. I hate that in many ways (because I really do enjoy my work so much!), but my home and family needs a wee bit more attention right now.
What that means also is that there are lots of things that you and I maybe need to say no to. Â If you're in a stressful season, really consider what your big priorities are, and then give yourself grace over the things you simply can't manage.
How TO Feel Happy (-er) Today
7. Dream. Big.Â
Goodness, I wish I could come right over to your house right now, look you straight in the eye, and tell you just how important this one is.
Please please please use this exact season to truly dream big.Â
Take this time to imagine what you can do that seems entirely too big to even dream about today.
Taking the time to dream has undoubtedly been the thing that has helped me to just feel some peace this last week (and even a little excitement when I've allowed myself that gift.) Â We've always put some effort into dreaming big in our homes, and I've remembered how precious it is to imagine something new for our future, even if we can't have it all today.
During hard seasons, dreaming big about what you really want can set your focus on something new. My (wise) husband always encourages me when struggling to start dreaming about what I really want to happen.
He's encouraged me to really dream about so many things ~ our home, our yard, our travel vacations and more no holding back. Now, we may never get many of those big ole' dreams I've managed to dream up, but since my dreams are free, I might just as well imagine ~ and maybe one day those dreams will become a possibility.
Walk around your yard and plan what you'd like to see in each spot one day. Stake out trees even if they might not ever get planted, just to start dreaming. Eventually, some of those things you're dreaming of right now really might happen, but that won't ever happen if you don't start dreaming big today.
If you're struggling with through something that just feels overwhelming, look past the mountain in your life right now, and dream of where you may be in a year, two years, or even five years down the road. Dream of what you really really want, not just what you'll settle for. Work towards your dream even in the midst of your struggles, and know that those dreams might just become real for you one day.
There are seasons of life that just come with so many overwhelming things it's hard to even see outside right where you are. This week as I've struggled to find peace it hasn't all been easy, but that doesn't mean it isn't good. (And it sure doesn't mean God doesn't have a plan right here!) If you're struggling too, be encouraged that you are not alone, and know that even in the middle of the craziness, God has a perfect plan just for you.
P.S. I cannot thank you all enough for your kind words, emails, and texts encouraging me on last week's post (or on this one.) I feel so very blessed to have such kind people cheering for me along the way, and am so very thankful for each of you!
Thank you so much for this. Very much needed for many reasons. I appreciate your honestly and knowing we aren’t alone.
I needed this post. My family just moved for my husbands job. We left my hometown. Most of our family. It is HARD. The planner has helped me with finding happiness and making our home feel like home. The best I can with a 2 and 3 year old. Your videos and blog posts have encouraged me on the days where I don’t think I can and I am just lonely. Moving during a global pandemic is fun. Especially in the winter. Thank you for reminding to Keep God first and exercise. These are the two things that really jump start my day and my attitude. Thank you!
Laurie,
I love, love, the wall paper in your tiny bathroom. I kept looking for the color and brand, I could not find it. Would be possible to post it or let me know where you posted the brand and color.
Thank you
What is the planner in the picture with your bible?
Hi Lindy! That is our Ultimate Home Checklist planner! Sadly the physical copy is sold out, but you can still order the PDF version and print it out if interested! (Use the code JOY at checkout!) –> https://shop.passionatepennypincher.com/products/2020-home-planner-pdf-download
Hi Laurie, I so feel you. We are also in a new place. Making new friends, attending a new church, meeting new neighbors. It is hard. The move alone is enough. Your so great, you’ll be settling in in no time and loving your new place. We are living in Florida now, but we from North East Ohio. My daughter still lives there. Fall is beautiful in Ohio. God Bless you, your in my prayers.
Thank you so much for your kind words Char! We’ve actually been here a few years now (this was an older post but I still go back to it when I need it!), and it definitely does get easier each day. Moving is just so hard, but I feel so fortunate to have a great community of people online who have cheered me on all the way!
Shiniest sink I’ve ever seen :).
Thank you so much for this post it really hit home with me! My daughter just got diagnosed with Lupus and Elhers Danlos Syndrome. One day she can look and feel like nothing is wrong and very sick the next day. I’ve been in such a funk lately, I just can’t get motivated to do things around the house. And seeing our friends posting all of the fun things they are doing doesn’t help. I’m going to try to be more appreciative of the good days and stop checking Facebook!!
Oh Maria ~ sending hugs your way! I can’t imagine how difficult that must me, and know you’ve just got to be worn out and I’m sure anxious too. Hang in there and know that you’re doing an amazing job as her mom. (And YES, don’t keep checking FB – it can make you feel so much worse and it’s just too easy to compare yourself there!) Praying for you and your sweet girl – God has a perfect plan for both of you!
Thank you for this post. I know this was done in 2014 and it is now 2016 but this is the first time I have read this and I definitely needed to read this. A little over a week ago I gave birth to my second daughter. The day we were discharged from the hospital we moved into a 2 bedroom apartment. All of our things were 5 hours away down south in our home we are selling. This past weekend my hubby went down to our home to get our things and I was at home alone with my almost 2 year old and a newborn. I was beyond nervous. My oldest daughter wanted to constantly be picked up and held which the doctor told me not to do for a couple of weeks after giving birth. It broke my heart not to be able to pick her up. Then about 2 days ago my oldest daughter started getting a rash on her. Today it was worse and now hubby and her are at immediate care to try and find out what the rash is. This season in my life right now is super hard for me. Having to juggle alot, and my house astray with all of our belongings. I needed to read this. Thank you.
You are so welcome Brittney – goodness that is such a difficult season (wonderful, but so hard!) Praying just crazy peace for you today and in the upcoming weeks as you adjust. Hang in there ~ you can do this and you are not alone!
I don’t know if you remember me. My son kyle was on Coach Hines team one year…..the year we came in 2nd and he let every boy pitch in the tournament. Loved this post as we are in the middle of a move. They are moving us to Mississippi in June and I am packing up everything and preparing to put our home on the markey. My mother in law just sold her home and expects/needs us to go to Mobile to pack and move her the end of the month, in the middle of all I need to do. My son plays travel lacrosse and games start Saturday. Then my daughter is pregnant and lives in Pensacola. She is due the end of June so all this is happening together and pulling me in four directions. I hope you are settling in Ohio, your office is gorgeous. May God continue to show you the beauty in each day and you take the time to see all the little special things that are there.
Hi Holly – I do remember you (we miss those baseball days!) 🙂 Bless your heart ~ honestly moving here was one of the hardest things we’ve ever done and such a huge thing to accomplish – it’s crazy what it takes to move a family just physically, but emotionally it’s such a huge drain too.
I am starting to feel a little more grounded here each day, but I’ve heard 3 years is the magic number (we’ve got over a year to get there!) Praying peace for you right now – just that you’ll have extra energy and that your heart will stay open (honestly, I have struggled with that so much.) Thank you so much for your kind words – hang in there and know that even on the hard days you can do this!
Thank you so much for this post. I am like you I find that if I pray things do turn around.
Laurie,
I have been following your blog for about a year. This post caught my attention this past summer, and I soaked up every bit of advice in it, as we heard rumors of a possible cross-country move for our family. Well, here we are in Michigan, 1,000 miles from our previous home, in JANUARY! We are trusting that God has a plan for our family in this new place, and I know He has a plan for you, too! 🙂 Thank you for sharing with all of us… You are a blessing!
Bless your heart Erica – I know that’s such a huge move and can’t imagine! Praying for you all as you’re there too – thank you so much for your kind words (they mean so much to me!)
This post hit home with me. I have been working on these same things recently. You wrote it beautifully and made me smile. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for your kind words Jennifer – I appreciate that so much!
Hi, I just wanted to say to you Thank You. Your words about finding something beautiful around you when you hurt so bad, really spoke to me. My daughter died the day before yesterday and I feel so heartbroken right now.
Oh Michele – my heart just aches for you and I can’t even begin to imagine. I’m so very sorry and you’re in my prayers right now. Give yourself an abundance of grace right now- praying that you feel God’s arms hold you tight today.
We haven’t moved, but both my husband and I are in the same realm of business for our jobs. My job since July of last year has consisted of 6 to 7 days a week, 12 hours a day. My husbands has been 6 days a week 8 to 10 hours a day (or night I should say since he works midnights). I rotate shifts, 2 weeks days, 2 weeks nights. We have a 2 year old daughter. It has been hard to just get to the grocery store much less SAVE money. Every spare moment I want to spend with my daughter because she is at that age where everything is new and fun. Finding time to clean and cook fall into the few and far between category. Thanks for mentioning Grace. God certainly has lavished his Grace on me. I need to find the place where I can grant myself that grace too. Thankfully I’m down to 5 to 6 days a week, still 12 hour days but there is some reprieve. I’m from Alabama, lived here all my life. I can’t imagine leaving. Grace for me, grace for you.
Praying for you Leslie as your family as it sounds like you have a very full schedule – I know you’ve got to feel overwhelmed! Hang in there – God’s grace is all around us but so often (at least for me) it’s hard to give grace to myself and the ones closest to me. Praying you feel peace this week and rest in Him!
Hi Laurie, I’m not sure if you remember me, but I worked for the Real Estate agency that sold your house in Madison and I measured your house one day. I’ve enjoyed following you! When we moved to Madison I cried for 6 months! But by our one year anniversary of the move, I would not move back home to TN. I had to go through that difficult time to receive all that the Lord had in store for me. Now I can see that this is where we were supposed to be. You are where you are supposed to be too. It won’t always feel like it does now. Be encouraged! What I believed to be the “worst” thing has turned out to be the best! You have found the secret. Be thankful in all things!
I do remember you Lydia – it means so much to me that you keep up with PPP! Things are definitely getting so much easier – just still have tough days every once in awhile. But I know we are so blessed, and I just have to remain thankful in all situations (some days that’s hard – which is just silly when we have so much!) You were such an encouragement to me when we met that day, and gave me hope that we’d survive this move. Thank you so much for saying something (and being the mouth of Jesus when I needed it last Spring!) Blessings 🙂
DREAM BIG! When Mike and I first married his dream was to one day have some property in the mountains with a stream where we can live off of the land. Who knew it would be in Central America, but Mike’s dream has come true. We pretty much live off of our land in the mountains with year round springlike temps. My added dream to this was I would have a town close by. It is only 10 minutes away. So yes, Dream Big. Your life’s journey is what makes the dream so rewarding. Love you guys!
I just got to read this as it popped up in my Facebook newsfeed. It was definitely God. The Holy Spirit was working on that one because every word worked my heart. 2014 was a super hard year (dealing with disease, betrayal of a now ex-friend, depression, anxiety, family vacation, trying to run the gambit of.disability and my ‘adoptive’ daughter having a baby). I couldn’t wait for the year to be over. This post just resonates with me. Helps remind me I am not alone, I am not forgotten, take it slower and not everything has to be done now. Why is that a hard.lesson some.days? We.are just to stubborn and think we know better than The Father. Praise Him for His mercy and laughter. Glad I can live in the shadow of His smile and.still recline in His lap. Thank you again for.the reminder. I really needed it.
Thank you for sharing this. I certainly needed to hear it right now. Blessings on your new house and new period in your life. And God bless your wise husband! Dream big and let God handle the rest (and I'll try to follow my own advice too). Thanks again for sharing!
Thanks Rachel so much for your kind words – I’ve been reminding myself of my own advice all weekend (sometimes it’s hard to learn things even when we know they’re the right things to do!) Hoping you dream big too right now. 😉
It is sometimes the littlest things that make the biggest difference in our perspective. Great tips for living for today while dreaming for tomorrow! Enjoy your summer with your kids : )
Thanks Crystal!
Laurie,
Thank you so much for that honest post! I hope and pray God will continue to bring those blessings and open doors for you and your family soon. Thank you for what you do and for the reminders for all of us to receive the grace that God freely gives us when things aren’t “perfect”
This really hit home for me. And as I read this and identified with everything you were saying I saw you said you moved to ohio! We just moved to ohio a couple weeks ago leaving my lifelong hometown 6 hours away. I am not sure where you are but I am in the Cleveland area. I just haven't found my neighborhood very welcoming and without a job or anyplace to go it sure is hard to meet people. Feeling kinda crappy about it all.
I’m so sorry Andrea – it is soooo hard (and we’ve been fortunate because so many people have been nice here (we’re near Columbus) – not the sugary sweet kind of people we knew in Alabama but they have at least been kind!)
I’ve got you in my prayers tonight and I know (really!) that things will change for you soon too. It’s HARD to move into a new neighborhood (I’d forgotten that before moving), so I’ll pray specifically that you meet a few of the right people soon. Hang in there – and definitely know that you’re not alone – change is just difficult for most of us I think!
Hi Laurie!
I also moved here to the Columbus area a few years back and have been blessed with finding my wife and now waiting on our second child to come in the following weeks. I found out about Passionate Penny Pincher through a friend at work and am very thankful for it. I just ordered “Can we talk” based on your recommendation and cannot wait to give it to my wife on Friday. My wife has been spiritual for a long time and I have just started coming into my own relationship with God. Do you have any recommended books for a young father who is seeking a closer relationship with Jesus?
Perfect encouragement I needed today. Thank you!
You have just helped me tremendously with your wonderful words. We never know what the other is facing. Our paths cross for a reason at just the right time. Keeping you and your family in my prayers!
Thank you so much for your wise words of wisdom. As any of us know whom know The Lord. He does have that master plan. We don’t always understand his plan, but remember it’s always a good plan.
Thank you for that Simone – I know you’re right – even when it’s hard to see over the mountain!
I soooooo needed this today, this week, this month. Thank you! You are so right!
You’re not alone Alisa – praying just the best month for you!
Laurie,
Your words helped me so much today. I’ve been struggling with MANY life changes & I’ve been making myself & everyone around me miserable! Just reading your words opened my eyes, I will do better starting right now!
I know how hard this is for children. Growing up, because my step dad was in the Navy, I went to 13 different schools in 6 years! I hate moving as a result. I know your children will find their place. By the time school starts things will be much better. Believe me, I know.
So back to my task at hand, getting rid of clutter/mess that I have ignored for way to long 🙂
Blessings on you & yours as you adjust to the “new”.
Lea Ann
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement Lea Ann! I think de-cluttering is something we so often put off and think it just doesn’t matter, but it does. It’s amazing how that alone improved my attitude! Thank you for encouraging us in the move – moving is HARD, but I know we’ll get through. 😉
Adversity causes some people to break, other people to break records! Praying you break all kinds of records in your new home 🙂
Thank you Gwen! 😉
Sweet Laurie,
Like you, our family is in a period of extreme hardship. I’ve been thinking a LOT about how important that it is to cast a WIDE net of gratitude. My teen has been spending a great deal of time in doctor’s offices and hospitals. Not much fun in that! However, in the midst of that we have had some amazing, deep, meaningful, heart-to-heart conversations. For that I am truly grateful. His doc is one of the good guys. My Mom had my babe for a few days- precious time for Grandma. Our awesome God works most of His amazing miracles in the hard places. Just ask Jacob’s son, Joseph. I’m glad to see you “casting a wide net,” too! Your love and gratitude bless me! Hugs to you my sister, Julie
I’ll be praying for your son in the midst of this of these doctor’s appointments as they figure out what’s going on – I think having a child who’s struggle might be the most difficult thing for anyone to face! Thank you so very much for your encouragement and kind words – they’re appreciated so much more than you know. 😉
I would love to know the name of the bible study. That would be perfect for myself and all my young mom friends!!! Thank you for sharing.
It has been a REALLY good study – it’s not completely about managing time, but covers a specific area of our hearts each week. Here’s a link to it if you’d like to check it out (I really love Priscilla Shirer because I know she’s walked the same place I’m in!) http://www.amazon.com/dp/1415865426?tag=publix-20
Aaaaaand I cried.
🙂 Lydia! I’m not one to usually get too weepy, but I’ve definitely been there a bit more these last few weeks ~ I’m right there with you 😉
Laurie,
Thank you so much for this beautiful post! This is exactly what I needed to read as I am like many seeing the big mountains right now instead of beyond the mountain. You're so right that life can be hard at times for many of us for various reasons! This article allowed me to breathe a little deeper and think about all these things. I LOVE PPP and what you do everyday to help give us all inspiration, encouragement, ways to save money and spend more time with our families among many many more invaluable things! We appreciate your time and commitment! Wishing you and your family a smooth transition during this season of your lives!!!
You are so welcome Kristy – thank you so much for your kind words! I think the mountains in front of us sometimes just seem so big and it’s hard to even see forward, so I’ll be praying you can see around those mountains too right now!
Thank you so much for your encouragement -I’m sooooo glad you enjoy PPP!