This week as I was debating what home project to tackle as our regular Friday Fluff Up, I started dreaming up ideas for our mudroom.
Since my husband’s heart attack just over a month ago, I’ve allowed clutter and gunk and schoolwork and coats and hats and heart attack papers and all of it to just take over that space.
(If you know me well you know that’s just not the norm for me ~ but goodness it’s turned into a disaster!)
I just didn’t want to deal with the mess, so I rounded up my youngest and spent a few hours shopping, dreaming up ways to make that space just a wee bit more Pinterested before coming home and setting to work.
As I started muddling through, I realized that it wasn’t any new fancy stuff that tiny space needed.
It was a much needed attitude shift.
You see, since his heart attack
I’ve (we’ve all?) been in this sort of funk.
I didn’t want to deal with the paperwork.
I didn’t want to look at insurance claims.
I didn’t want to read through mounds of heart attack literature.
I didn’t want to learn a million-bazillion ways to control his cholesterol.
(For the record, he’s really changed his diet on his own and we’re all working even harder to eat the right foods ~ I just didn’t want to read any more about it!)
I didn’t want to be the 40-year-old wife of a 45-year-old husband who’d had a heart attack.
There. I said it.
I wanted to stay a regular mom with a regular life and regular kids and a regular-not-so-much-struggling life.
I’m betting you get that.
And honestly? (if I’m being real-real-deeply honest here?)
Ever since moving two years ago I’ve just kind of been in a funk. (Y’all who know me best know that’s the case ~ I can hide it on the outside but here in my heart it’s tough to hide.)
So I just let the piles keep climbing.
I let the shoes take over the floor.
I shoved the paperwork on top of the cabinets. And hid some inside the closet. (eek.) And just decided if it was all stuffed somewhere I didn’t really have to deal with any of it.
I just didn’t want any of this turn of events.
I didn’t want my life to look different.
I just didn’t want to deal with the mess of it.
In my heart or on my countertops.
So when I came home with all my cute stuff from Home Goods and Michael’s Wednesday night and realized it wasn’t any “fluffing” that needed to happen, but rather just a good case of me being real about life, I determined to get it together.
I sorted through the paper work.
I made files named “James’s heart stuff.”
I saved files about medications I really care nothing to know about.
I pulled up my big-girl-panties and decided to deal with what the last six weeks have doled out.
Do you know what?
It feels better.
The space is cleaned out. I’m still the same regular mom that I was a month ago. We still have the regular life that we had months ago. My husband didn’t really age a million years like I feel he has.
We’re just us.
And we’re going to be okay.
You may have so. many. struggles. so so much bigger than mine.
You may be dealing with a debilitating illnesses, the long-term sicknesses of a child, or the loss of something or even someone so very precious and dear to you.
And like me, you may think that if you just shove the clutter all away none of this stuff will really be real.
But, precious one, you and I know it doesn’t work that way.
If you’re drowning in stuff because you don’t want to deal with the real issues, I encourage you to pull up those big girl panties with me and just de. mess.
You will feel better.
You will find order.
You will be no less precious than you were before the mess.
Because even when life doesn’t hand us what we choose, we still get to choose what we make of it.
Make your life beautiful today.
If that means you need a de-cluttering and a de-gunking and a de-funking, come along with me and find beauty right where you’re at.
If you’re in a hospital room holding the hand of a loved one, tidy things up a bit and make that that space for them just feel beautiful. But most importantly hold on tightly and let them know they’re loved.
If you’re home in the summertime and your kids have taken over your home (ahem), take a break from the crazy and head outside to pick some fresh greenery, then come on in and sweep up the floor.
If you’re at work and the clutter on your desk is overwhelming you, clean off that space, put up a favorite quote and stay motivated in your work today.
And if you’re the sweet momma of a tiny one who hasn’t allowed you to have a shower in too many days to count, find a safe spot for that baby for twenty minutes, hop in the shower and make yourself feel beautiful today.
You can find beauty wherever you are. I just know you can.
I’m thinking of you folks right now who walk beside me or even through something so much harder, and am praying a beautiful day for you no matter what life hands you today.
Make today a beautiful day.